the next 13 minutes

of my life will be devoted to blogging. which is essentially useless because i filter and screen what i say cause i have no clue who reads this, so basically everything i talk about is essentially a retelling of events. how boring and gay. but. i'm doing it anyways. so i stay sane. i don't have any friends, and i barely talk to my family. so this is my 'outlet' so to speak. it's kinda like having a very quiet friend, that isn't close enough to bitch to, but who loves hearing my random thoughts and enjoys updates on my life. how nice.

okay, basic insight to random drama time! my 'best friend' more like...pretty good friend, decided to start dating my ex bf. it's not one of those ex bf's you don't give a shit about and can't really remember his name anyway, but it's the one ex bf...of like 4 years. i really shouldn't care. but i do. it's not the fact that they're together, cause honestly that bugs me but i could live with it. it's the fact that she has now, for the second time, broken major friend code. i'm not exactly sure which one of us is which in that picture...but i guess we're both kinda both. honestly... really... i'm not all that torn up. but as i said before, idk who reads this nonsense...so i'll just leave it at that...


i dono what to say. i'm gay. blogging is gay... the best part of my day is my job. i like the color red. sometimes i think of weird things.


i was telling kevin this the other night. sometimes my mind wanders to exceptionally strange places and i catch myself thinking really odd thoughts and i have to stop and ask myself why i'm so weird.

like sometimes i'm sitting there, like on the bus in the morning. and i think to myself, "i wonder what would happen if i just got out a lighter and set my hair on fire. how would everyone react?!" or.. i'll be sitting in the passenger seat of the car and think "wonder how so-and-so would react if i just leaped out my door while the whole vehicle was still moving."

i think it means i'm either a. insane, or b. curious about people's reactions, specifically the reactions i'll likely never see.

and i'm not being self destructive most of the time, i guess my thoughts just lean toward these weird acts in terms of myself rather than those around me.

i have one minute left, so uhhh...

yep.