you make me feel

it's safe to say that over the past year we've been through everything. i have grown, you have grown. and here we are. we've laughed together and cried together and danced together and drank together. but there is still so much for us to do. and now you are stressed and i am stressed.

i know things aren't going to get easier for a while. and i also know we haven't seen the worst yet.

i'm just hoping you'll stick by my side through it all.

and i know you don't read this. and i know that you probably have no idea how much i love you. i know that you're scared and upset...just like me. and i wish i could do something more than i've done.

but this is about us. not you, not me...us. and i have done what i can do. the next few days promise to be stressful no matter what happens. but this time...for the first time ever, i am strong. and prepared for just about anything. and that means a lot to me. because for the first time i am scared, but i am in control of my life. i may have finally learned how to be alone. i don't know, and won't for sure until it's put to the test...i hope that is later rather than sooner. but i am confident in that.

my new favorite feeling is when i am riding the bus and the sun comes through the windows over the tops of buildings. it's so bright... i love to see everyone squint.