shot down

it's been a little while. i keep thinking about writing and then i read the things that other people write and can't bring myself to type out a few meaningless diary style posts.. but here's the basic update of what i've been doing/thinking.
1. i tried to draw this week and i drew two pictures, showed them to two people and got shot down for sure. kinda squashed my ambitions of drawing. but i'm gonna keep trying anyway. this time around though, i'm keeping those bad boys to myself. who knew i'd actually feel kinda hopeful that they'd receive positive feedback after my long history of shitty sketches?

2. it's almost time to move. and i'm just ready to get the ball rolling! one more week... i'm still nervous about how the hell all of our stuff is gonna fit, but the benefits should be great. i'll finally be able to have friends over and i'm just incredibly excited for the location during the summer... i'm ready for homemade iced tea, late nights reading on the couch with the window open, kevin grilling some good burgers, beer in the park... i'm also INCREDIBLY excited for my little shih-tzu to come live with me again. i've missed the tiny little light of my life. i'm not even packing anything. it's all coming via my tiny little car. i have no clue how i'm transporting anything big and i am trying desperately not to ask my parents for help.

3. my younger brother is in jail...again. and i sucks more than ever before because i thought he had changed and we all thought he was stronger. but he's still the same old lying, manipulative guy. idk it's so hard to even express how i feel. incredibly let down. and i feel like someone just laid a freezing cold blanket over me. that's the best way to describe it. i mean as always i am happy for his safety, but i will miss him, and i mourn every time he goes away, because he won't learn. not until he wants to... my mom is disowning him for the time being. i doubt it'll last long before she's back to weekly visits and cash donations. he's her baby. sometimes i wonder if she'd be as dedicated to me if i fucked up.
i'd like to think so.

4. today cheryl ran and grabbed me starbucks since i can't really leave the building and i sent her a picture and she sent one back. pretty much made my day. :)

i basically have like 3 friends at work now. unfortunately one is an intern and won't be around for much longer...oh well, what can you do.

5. I'm seriously looking to transfer colleges, but i gotta find one with a good degree program first and then secondly, i need to find one that has a bunch of upper division classes at night. sigh.


anyway. i think that's a fairly good update. i'll write soon when i have something decent to say.